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JOKES Flashcards | StudBud
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JOKES
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34 terms
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Questions
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Answers
1
why did the kid bring a ladder to the academy?
so he could hit the teacher with it...
because it was show and tell day!
to RAISE his grade?
He wanted to go to high school!
2
What ended in 1896?
the civil war
the FALSE thought that boys are better than girls
1895
NUFFIN!
3
why don't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?
because they're dead.
gdbghsbdeghfdbgdhgcxgdhsgfdegfhdhncdujfjdjfrhfnrhfbrefzdejke
they dont!
The "P" is silent?
4
what is E.T. short for?
cuteness!
it's not an acronym
his little legs
Extra-Terrestrial
5
why was the math book sad?
I DON'T KNOW!
the teacher fell asleep while reading him. DUH!
Because E=mc2
He had so many problems
6
why do seagulls live by the sea?
if they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
no reason...
7
name this color
Skye
bleu
CYAN!
blue
8
how does harry potter go down a hill?
he doesn't.
JK ROWLING! (rolling)
he walks
With his broom
9
what occurs ONCE in a minute, TWICE in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
M
yfcgerdfuydkegfikcugicfduvhyhuyf gfudghvhgfuyfygffhfvtfuvty!
the letter M?
zzzzzz... oh. HUH! what's happening?
10
what's a pirate's favourite subject? (Nicolas' idea)
MARTIAL ARTS
PASTY MICE
ARRRRT!
math
11
hey! guess who i saw today!
everyone you looked at?
Eddie van halen?
me?
Justin Trudo?
12
Why was the green, wrinkly pyramid-clops sick?
He wasn't
he had too much whiskey?
He was an ILL-uminati!
he was allergic to school
13
WEVFGDHJHGFJKNHBVGFVCGHJNKJHGFDFJHGFCHJIKJUHGFRHJNHBGVFCDXCgfyhdsjzzzhjdmrfndm! Who said that?
sorry, that was my stomach
you did?
Me!!! i did...
that REDICULOUSLY UGLY MORON DID!
14
Okay! Pete and repeat are on a horse. Pete fell off. who is left?
repeat
Repea- HEY!
repeat...
uh...repeat?
15
if you ever get cold, stand in the corner for a bit. they're usually about 90 degrees.
|:(
ha ha
...
16
why can pugs jump higher than a house?
because they have superpowers...
they can't, houses just can't jump.
17
what do you call a male cow who never misses?
they don't even shoot anything.
a bullseye!
McDonalds sniper!
Obese sniper!
18
what did the plastic brick say when someone was holding onto him? (The picture tho. LOL)
he didn't say anything. He used the force and force jumped!
said the F word twice
Sang: "HELP!! AH NEED SOMEBODY!"
"LEGGO!"
19
name this color.
Ash
Silver
Noah
Ferdenad
20
what is this?
wierd things
goofy faces
blobs
21
why do seagulls live in the sea?
no reason...
they don't.
If they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
did you mean by the OCEAN?
22
why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
I DON'T KNOW!
because they chose to
because if they fell forewards they'd still be on the boat.
because they don't feel like bellyflopping?
23
Two cats are racing accross a river. Their names are UN DEUX TROIS and ONE TWO THREE. Who wins?
Neither. Cats hate water!
ILLUMINATI
One two three, because un deux trois cat sank?
24
why is a girafe's neck so long?
girafes are heartless creatures.
Because it's head is so far from its body?
biology!
it just is
25
bcjghcfuenvhcgfjdhcndhgbtnfhnvcfncxhcfnchcbcfnhcvbfhvbfnhfncdvughgufnighvjnrkcgdvhjgufcvhyjgufh
fcyhnfxdjmxrfhujcnfmhjncxfmhdfjcnmfjncfhdcjxfhjt to you too!
...
bread crumbs and beaver spit.
as if that was the last question!
26
why are there more geese on ONE side of the V?
because there's more geese on the one side
i give up?
gimme a scientific reason!
because the ones on the other side are playing pokémon go...
27
Why did the M&M go to collage?
to be a smarty
for no apparent reason
because he didn't need his peanut anymore
because he just graduated high school?
28
pete and repeat are on a horse. pete fell off. Who is left?
repeat
uh... repeat?
Repeat...
Repeat
29
How do you THink THe unTHinkable?
PLAY CHESS!
you can't.
by thinking it?
wiTh an iTHeberg!
30
what has thirteen hearts but no other organs?
a deck of cards!
Hey... THAT LAST QUESTION WASN'T THE LAST QUESTION!
31
why did the random dude want a job in cleaning mirrors?
he's so dumb
he has sugar rush
he misses himself
he could really SEE himself doing it?
32
why didn't the poultry cross the road
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO!
because he was being such a chicken!
because of the red light
33
when two vegans get in a fight, is it still a beef?
no
...LOL
yes
i miss McDonalds
34
my ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
i bet she'll smipe your head soon.
no comment...
Seriously?
LOL!!!
